One that got away (my thoughts)

It was never easy to be the one that was left behind. But i think what’s harder is still loving the one that leaves you behind after all these years…

Does it ring a bell? i can’t say that all of us who have loved and been left behind wishes to be with the one thats got away…. But i believe that few of a many have this yearning feeling. How do we deal with this?. Damn if i know, been in this dillema for more than a decade and though i have not seen the face that makes my heart ache i still think of him every. single. day. It’s inevitable as breathing for me, though i’ve wish and pray to lord god that somehow to help me forget. I somehow became desperate to obliterate the feelings and the memory. Since it fuck with my head bigtime. Know what’s sad? It never fades and i give up trying to make it go away.

Over the years i have learned to embrace it. For every dream that i see his face, instead of feeling sorry and yelling how unfair the world is i now give thanks. Gratitude for the opportunity to be united with the one i love even for just a minute. Maybe, i have had that great love of mine ( it is cliche yet it so fuckin true) and he was it for me and i lost him. I’ll always be thankful for that moment that i have with him. Borrowed or not, dream and glimpse of a memory i love it. And i am embracing this compelling-pathetic-one sided-love this is me being
brave. This is my way of freeing myself.

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